Most of the people who live in Horsmarlonerpool are very nice indeed. Folk are friendly, and people help each other out. Well it was old Kirkland Muffin’s rule: Everyone should be kind to one another.
But there is a couple of wronguns who are rather naughty: And at their worst, they can be really quite bad. These two men are called Pebbles and Crater. And they're always causing a right nuisance, and the trouble is, they are rather clever at doing it. You see, Pebbles and Crater and very good at being naughty, because they are very good at inventing.
They loved to invent machines that just caused trouble around the town. One year they invented a machine that stole everyone’s socks. And I don’t just mean off the washing line, or out of drawers, I mean it stole them right off their feet! It sort of blew off people’s shoes and then popped off the socks.
Then there was the time they created a mist that made it rain non-stop so everyone was miserable, and the time they put a potion into the water that meant everybody’s eyebrows grew so long that they couldn’t see anything and kept tripping over them.
So, whenever anything went all stupid and wrong in Horsmarlonerpool, everyone knew, and Major Dubbin knew, and Sergeant Handle knew, that Pebbles and Crater were probably behind it. So everyone was always on their guard.
But the trouble was, Pebbles and Crater hadn’t been up to anything for quite a while. And that could spell trouble even more than when they were causing trouble, because it meant that they were plotting something.
And they were. The reason that Pebbles and Crater had been so quiet is that they were planning their naughtiest, and most awful invention yet.
So one sunny day, in the grocery shop, Miss Kelvingrove the librarian stood with an empty basket trying to think what ingredients to buy for her dinner. But she couldn’t think of anything she wanted. In Castle Earnose, Lord Devonroe sat down at his easel to paint a picture but… couldn’t think of anything to paint. At her office in Half Hitch school, Mrs Perrinpeas the headmistress was at her desk, her favorite pen resting on a blank sheet of paper thinking of a speech to give to all the pupils the next morning, but for the first time in her life she couldn’t think of anything to say.
And outside in the sunshine, all the children in the town were ready to play - but couldn’t think of a single thing to do.
What had happened?
Everyone began to wander around a sort of a daze. No-body laughed, because no-body had the idea to laugh. And no-body spoke, because no-body has any idea what to say. And no-body was really going anywhere, because they couldn’t think of anywhere to go.
It was as if Horsmarlonerpool was suddenly full of zombies.
Down at the airport, high up on one wall was an old map of the world that Felix and Leah had once found. It was called the Massive Map of Secret Adventures, because if you climbed up and touched any place on the map then that’s where you went.
Well today, the map started to glow, then Vaila and Herc appeared in a flash from where there was picture of the pyramids in Egypt. Well, they were both quite suntanned so they’d clearly had a wonderful holiday.
They strolled from the airport into town, and tried saying hello to people - but people just stared back blankly. They tried going to see their friends Leah and Felix, who had discovered the map in the first place to tell them all about Egypt. But Leah and Felix just stared at them too. What was going on? Everyone was in a trance!
At first, it was all a bit spooky, but then Vaila said “I bet I know who’s behind this!”
Herc nodded. “Pebbles and Crater!” he said.
Now these two villains (And I mean Pebbles and Crater, not Vaila and Herc) lived in a dark little cottage right on the edge of town. Herc and Vaila crept up to it on their hands and knees and carefully looked in the window.
Pebbles and Crater, one tall, one short, but both very ugly, were standing next to a machine that was pointing out of the other little window towards the town. And they were laughing.
“We did it! It worked,” cackled Crater.
“We’ve turned off their imaginations!” purred Pebbles.
“It’s our greatest triumph!” nodded Crater.
Outside, Vaila and Herc sat down on the grass. “Stolen their imaginations?” said Vaila. “Oh, how horrible!”
Now of course, she and Herc had been on holiday in Egypt when the machine was turned on so it didn’t effect them at all. But when Herc said “So what should we do?”, Vaila said “I… I don’t know…”
Now that wasn’t like Vaila. She and Herc were always full of ideas.
“Run! Quick!” Said Herc.
Vaila didn’t hesitate and they ran out of the town as fast as they could and up into Sprivers wood.
“What’s the matter?” asked Vaila. “What’s the danger?”
“It’s starting to effect us!” said Herc. “We didn’t have any ideas! It was taking away our imaginations. We had to get away!”
Well, this was serious. But in the safety of Sprivers, away from the machine, their heads cleared and they came up with a plan.
That night, they crept back to Pebbles and Crater’s house and carefully and silently climbed in the window. They heard the two bad men snoring upstairs, and so made their way over to the machine and turned it away from the window but upwards towards the ceiling.
“That will make THEM run out of ideas pretty quickly!” Said Vaila.
“Right,” said Herc. “Now let’s get this down into town.”
The next morning, when the dazed and idealess people of the town began to come out of their houses, Herc switched the lever on the machine to ‘reverse’ and then started it up.
“I think that tonight, I’ll bake a purple cake with toffee apples around it,” said Miss Kelvingrove. In Castle Earnose, Lord Devonroe suddenly had the most wonderful idea for a painting about multicolored unicorns. And walking to Half Hitch school, Mrs Perrinpeas decided that instead of giving a speech that morning, she would invent a dance to do in front of everyone. And all the children all ran outside and invented a brand new sport called Branchshoe, where every climbed up trees threw a shoe at one another. EVERYONE was full of the most wonderful ideas.
Now, after turning off the machine and standing in the square where Pepperpot Street meets Candlesmoke Lane, Vaila and Herc stood on a box and explained to the whole town what had happened.
“They stole your imaginations! Or, at least, they turned your imaginations off in your heads,” said Vaila.
“That’s why you’ve been so bored!” said Herc.
“Oh! The rotters,” said Mayor Dubbin. “Sergeant Handle, do your duty.”
A few minutes later, Sergeant Handle brought a dazed Pebbles and Crater into the square to face justice. But the mayor wasn’t sure what punishment was right for taking away imaginations.
“Just a minute,” said Vaila, and pointed the machine at Mayor Dubbin. She turned it on - in reverse - for just a second and then switched it off again.
“I know!” Said Mayor Dubbin. “They should have to clip everyone’s toenails for a whole month and then only eat toenail pie!”
Pebbles and Crater groaned, the crowd cheered, and Vaila and Herc looked at each other, feeling sick, and then laughed.
Pebbles and Crater might be naughty, but their inventions certainly were certainly very clever indeed.
